Selena Barfield

Denial

2009-08-03T18:55:00.000-07:00

Disables our feelings
Energy lost
Negates growth
Isolates us from God
Alienates us from our relationships
Lengthens the pain

Denial does not protect us from our pain. In reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and turn into guilt and shame. We are "as sick as our secrets". We cannot grow until we are willing to step out of denial and into the truth.

As It Was In The Days of Noah

2009-07-30T20:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Shi8fPtjFdc

People Get Ready

2009-07-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

Last night I had dinner with my mom and dad at Ruby Tuesdays in Summerville and we were talking about some of the connections we've made with old friends through Facebook. The mention of one of these friends brought to mind a story that brought a lot of laughs at the time. I don't recall how old I was.....maybe in the 9-11 year old range, but it was a Sunday evening after church was over and it was dark outside. My parents were still in the church for some reason. They were always church workers so we usually arrived early and stayed late. I was out in the parking lot and there were only 2 or 3 cars left. I didn't see anyone around. All of a sudden, I heard this trumpet start playing (and it was loud). I remember how fast my heart started racing because I thought Jesus was returning. It turns out, it was our trumpet player practicing a few runs. I don't know where in the world he came from because as far as I knew, I was out there alone. I can also remember times when I couldn't find my parents and thinking the rapture had occurred and I had been left behind. As funny as that seems now, I was thinking today that I honestly cannot remember the last time I've heard anyone mention the return of Jesus....maybe not since the "Left Behind" books were released.

This past Sunday's sermon was on death and being prepared for it. Whether we leave this earth through the gate of death or live to see the Second Coming of Jesus, we must ask ourselves, "are we ready"? Why has the church, God's people, stopped talking about this?

Tonight, one of my band members brought me a CD of some songs by Misty Edwards. One of the songs was called "People Get Ready". I listened to it on the way home and it literally shook me to the core. I had chills running up and down my spine. If you choose to look it up and give it a listen, I will warn you, it will probably be different than anything you've ever heard.

He's coming! Awake, awake O sleeper.
He's coming! He's alive.
Jesus of Nazareth, Son of David, born to be a King
Prepare the way.....people get ready
Surely He is not a man that He should lie.
He said he would come again and He will surely come again....
People get ready!
Fully a man but born to be a King - He's coming!
He's alive. Look upon the one we've pierced.
Who is this King of Glory? Jesus! Messiah!
The root and the offspring of David.
I can hear the rhythm of the Lion of the Tribe of Judah!
The same way He ascended He will descend again.
Are you ready?
He's not a baby in a manger anymore!
He's not a broken man on a cross!
He didn't stay in the grave and He's not staying in heaven forever!
People get ready..... Jesus is coming!
Take the scroll and open the seals and come back for your people.
He is alive. People get ready. Jesus is coming!
People are walking around with their fingers in their ears
Singing da, da, da, da - I don't want to hear the sound of the coming of the King.
Are you ready, are you ready for this?

According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
– 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17

Co-Dependency

2009-07-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

On the surface, co-dependency sounds like "christian teaching". Codependents always put others first before taking care of themselves. (Aren't Christians to put others first?) Codependents give themselves away. (Shouldn't Christians do the same?) Codependents martyr themselves. (Christianity honors its martyrs.)

As a codependent you:

*assume responsibility for others' feelings and behaviors.
*feel guilty about others' feelings and behaviors.
*have difficulty identifying what you are feeling.
*have difficulty expressing feelings
*are afraid of your own anger, yet sometimes erupt in rage.
*worry about how others may respond to your feelings, opinions and behavior.
*have difficulty making decisions.
*are afraid of being hurt/rejected by others.
*minimize, alter or deny how you truly feel.
*are very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
*are afraid to express differing opinions or feeling.
*value others opinions and feelings more than your own.
*put other people's needs and desires before your own.
*embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts.
*judge everything you think, say, or do harshly, as never "good enough".
*are a perfectionist.
*are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
*do not ask others to meet your needs or desires.
*do not perceive yourself as lovable or worthwhile.
*compromise your own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.

In it's broadest sense, codependency can be defined as an addiction to people, behavior or things. Codependency is the fallacy of trying to control interior feelings by controlling people, things and events on the outside. To the codependent, control or the lack of it is central to every aspect of life.

Celebrate Recovery

2009-07-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

For years, I had an uncle who struggled with drug and alcohol addiction. I saw him repeatedly try and fail to get free. I watched the roller coaster ride from a distance. Recently, I got to talk to him during my dad's open heart surgery and could tell things were REALLY DIFFERENT. Not just as far as the addiction was concerned, but his whole attitude. He was truly radiating Jesus. I just couldn't believe it. I asked him about it and he told me about a group called "Celebrate Recovery" that meets at Seacoast Church in Mt. Pleasant on Friday nights. So tonight, I decided I would attend this group called "Celebrate Recovery". My whole reason for going was to "help a friend" with "her problem" and just be there for support. Boy, was I in for a surprise. For years, I have wondered what was wrong with me (smile), but seriously, I think I found a real answer. I am co-dependent. Nice. Great "label". Now I'm "sick"......but really, aren't we all? If you are wondering what co-dependency actually is, read on:

Codependency - What is it?
Codependency is when a person has a strong desire to control people around them, including their spouse, children or co-workers. Codependents believe they are somehow more capable than others, who need their direction or suggestions to fulfill tasks they are responsible to complete. They feel compassion for people who may be hurting and feel they should be the one to help them. Codependent people give of their time, emotions, finances, and other resources. They have a very difficult time saying "no" to any requests made of them.

Codependency - A Matter of Control
Codependency, for others, doesn't express itself in a desire to control, but instead, in the need to be controlled by others. Because it is nearly impossible for Codependents to say "no" to people, they may find themselves the victims in physically and emotionally abusive relationships. They believe that if they can be good enough, or loving enough, they can change the other person's behavior. They sometimes blame themselves for the abusive behavior: "If only I had not forgotten to do the dishes, he would not have had to hit me."

Codependency causes internal struggles with the opinions of others and cannot make decisions as a result. Codependents may make decisions based on what they think other people want them to do. They are never happy because they spend all of their time trying to make everyone around them happy. While they may believe that their motive for helping people is compassion, in reality they are doing it because they want love or approval.

Codependency can also cause struggles in the area of time management. Codependents may feel they never have enough time to fulfill all of their commitments because they have made too many. The most important commitments and relationships are often neglected because they are too busy helping other people, participating in multiple activities, and running from one event to another throughout the week. This also relates to their inability to say "no" when asked to volunteer, attend a function, or help a friend. The idea of not volunteering, not helping or not attending is unthinkable. They may believe they are not being responsible, not being a good friend, or not being a good person if they refuse any requests. However, many of those situations and relationships leave them feeling hurt, angry, or resentful.

Codependency - The Questions

Do you find yourself having a hard time making decisions so you make them based on other people's opinions?

Is it important to you that people like you and want to be your friend?

Do you have a strong desire to help others, but deep down you know you do it so that they will like or love you?

Do you seem to notice everyone else's problems and have a need to tell them what you think they should do to solve them?

Do you feel anxious, angry or upset when people don't do things you want them to do, or do things the way you want them to do them?

Do you find yourself in relationships where you do all the giving and the other person does all the taking?

Are you involved in activities that demand all of your time and energy and you are neglecting your family or yourself?

http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/codependency-recovery.htm

If any of you suffer from an addiction of ANY KIND, I strongly encourage you to "Celebrate Recovery". There are so many testimonies of freedom. This group started out of Rick Warren's church who authored the book "The Purpose Driven Life".

While I am a little overwhelmed by this co-dependency thing, I am excited to know what I'm dealing with and begin my road to recovery through the power of Jesus and the Cross.

Passion or The Motions

2009-07-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

The other day, Ricci said to me "you don't get excited about anything".....and boy, did that my attention. I had to stop and think about that. I really don't get excited about anything. I remember when my dad bought me my first car, I just kind of stood there, looked at it and said, "thanks". I'm not your jump up and down, "contagious" kind of person. My moods and emotions rarely swing. I'm pretty much the same all of the time. I might describe myself as boring and yet I would like to think that makes me real easy to live with. :) I don't know. Nevertheless, his comment got me thinking about "passion" - a powerful or compelling emotion, fire or fervency. What am I passionate about? Because of my personality type, it is very easy for me to just go through the motions and get everything checked off my list. I am a worker bee, "get 'er done" kind of person - a Martha, for you biblical scholars.

So I ask, what are YOU passionate about? What is it you could spend hours and hours doing? Do you wake up feeling enthusiastic about life? Is the first day of the week your favorite or do you live from weekend to weekend? How long has it been since you couldn't sleep because you were too excited about an idea?

You can never lead something you don't care passionately about. You can't start a fire unless one is first burning in you. I have found that I spend way too much time doing things I am not passionate about.

There are many things that will catch your eye but few things that will catch your heart. Put your time and energy into those things. Associate with people of passion. As corny as that may sound, birds of a feather flock together.....and might I remind you of 1 Corinthians 15:33 "bad company corrupts good character". Be careful who you surround yourself with. Those people can either be your lifeline and help you press on in your journey or drag you down the wrong road. If you've lost your fire, get around some fire-starters. Passion is contagious.

I am asking the Lord to reignite the passion of His people....to reignite MY passion. I don't want to just go through "The Motions". I love this song by Matthew West:

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break at least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just ok is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

No regrets not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just ok is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

So Blessed!

2009-07-12T18:44:00.000-07:00

It seems I have a hard time keeping up with this thing amidst all of the other things life demands that I keep up with. It looks like my last post was May 11.....not good, I know. It has been an eventful couple of months with the highlight being my dad having open heart surgery on June 5. That was very unexpected but I am so thankful he came through successfully and that the Lord saw fit to grant him life. Experiences like that have a way of putting life back in perspective. So often, I find myself complaining about the every day trials and tribulations life loves to throw our way, but truly, I am SO BLESSED. My problems sometimes seem so large until I hear about the person whose loved one passed away or whose spouse or child has just been diagnosed with a terminal disease or the one who has lost their job or their house. As I type this, I'm reminded of the words to a song I used to sing as a little girl:

There's a roof up above me
I've a good place to sleep
There's food on my table
And shoes on my feet
You gave me Your love, Lord
And a fine family
So I thank You, Lord, for Your blessings on me

I know the Word says that the rain falls on the just and the unjust and that in this world we WILL have troubles. I also know that ONE DAY, it's going to be worth it all. He holds on to all our pain and with it He is pulling us closer and one day He will wipe every tear from our eyes.

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus
Life's trials will seem so small when we see Him
Once glimpse of His dear face
All sorrow will erase
So bravely run the race
Till we see Christ!

Mistakes

2009-05-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a fifty dollar bill. In a room of about two hundred people, he asked, "who would like this fifty-dollar bill?" Hands started going up. He said, " I am going to give it to one of you, but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the bill up and then asked, "who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.

"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth fifty dollars."

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, we will never lose our value in God's eyes. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, we are still priceless to Him.

Author and speaker John C. Maxwell says that mistakes are:

Messages that give us feedback about life.
Interupptions that should cause us to reflect and think.
Signposts that direct us to the right path.
Tests that push us toward greater maturity.
Awakenings that keep us in the game mentally.
Keys that we can use to unlock the next door of opportunity.
Explorations that let us journey where we've never gone before.
Statements about our development and progress.

Wisdom

2009-05-06T13:09:00.000-07:00

"Use wisdom and understanding to establish your home; let good sense fill the rooms with priceless treasures. Wisdom brings strength, and knowledge gives power. (Proverbs 24:3-4)

Knowledge = learning something new
Understanding = internalizing new information
Wisdom = gaining insight into how to make something work
Good Sense = moving from theory (idea) into reality (action)

Diligence out of Desperation

2009-04-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

At our last Worship Team Fellowship we were discussing Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever comes to God must believe that He is AND that He IS a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him". After looking a little further into the meaning of the word diligent, we found that it means constant in effort, attentive, persistent, something done with painstaking effort. There is absolutely nothing casual about the word diligent. And then, my husband, who rarely says anything serious makes the most profound statement and says, "desperation makes us diligent".

I've been rolling that statement over and over in my head for several days. How very true. So often, we haphazardly take a few casual stabs at different things in our lives like losing weight, developing regular time with God, being a better husband/wife/parent, spending more time with loved ones, giving more, helping others, learning an instrument, etc. But our efforts totally change into something more direct and focused when we see things in our lives circling the drain. There is something about complete failure and desperation that leaves a person open to suggestions and most of all to God. Sadly, when our emotions settle somewhere between anger and despair, we get serious about things we should have gotten serious about a long time ago.

Recently, I lost a very special ring my husband gave me several years ago. I have turned closets and drawers upside down and clothes inside out. I have dumped out purses, shaken out rugs, looked in drains and anywhere else I could think of. I still haven't found that ring but I won't stop looking until I find it. I want to be that diligent in my search to know God. I don't just want to know ABOUT Him. I want to KNOW HIM! The Lord promises that those who seek Him with all of their hearts WILL find Him. God rewards those who make a SERIOUS SEARCH for Him.

Counterculture vs. Subculture Part II

2009-04-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

The early church was counterculture. Today, much of the church is a subculture. What is the difference? A counterculture is a group of people whose lifestyle rejects or opposes the dominant values and behavioral patterns of society. A completely different set of guidelines governs their lives. The early church depicted this. Peter said to the first converts, "Be saved from this perverse generation" (Acts 2:40) The Message heightens the meaning by quoting Peter as saying "Get out while you can; get out of this sick and stupid culture!"

A subculture, on the other hand, is a distinctive group of people that is still part of the overall existing culture. Though some trait about people in the group distinguishes them, they are connected with society overall. The church today fits this description. We have labels of "born again" and "saved". We affiliate with groups or circles: evangelical, Full Gospel, charismatic, denominational, and so on. But we are very much tied in with society.

Our society encompasses people with vastly different lifestyles. On one end are extreme liberals and on the other end, conservatives, with many variations between the two ends. On the extreme end you may find people living exceptionally abnormal lives, performing lewd acts both privately and publicly. They may live perverted lifestyles, etc. We consider them an extreme segment of society that most of the church would never seek to emulate.

On the other end, we find the conservative Americans. These men and women live what many call normal lives. Although this segment of society sees itself as "good", it is linked with the overall culture living under the influence of the prince of the power of the air. Sometimes "good" is the greatest enemy of God. Remember, Eve's choice of what seemed good was very much against God's ways.

Instead of believers living totally separate lives today based on the governing authority of the kingdom of God, many of us live our lives no differently from conservative unbelievers. We say we are not of this world, but for many of us this is a theory instead of reality. Because we are connected, as the boundary lines of society shift, we shift with them.

The Word of God tells us to avoid every form of evil (1Thess 5:22) and says that it is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do so why do we line up or subscribe and pay money to see attitudes, mannerisms and patterns that have been shaped by the perverted generation we live in? I can just hear the Lord asking, "why do My people entertain themselves with the very things that drove the nails through My hands?"

Why do we rely on the ratings of the industry instead of the discernment of the Holy Spirit? Has God changed in the past twenty years to accommodate the trends of this generation? Absolutely NOT! If God's standards have not changed, why have the average American believer's standards changed? This pattern is evident in all areas of life - clothing, views of politics, the way we handle money and business and more. Why do we want to feed off of what the world feeds off of?

The early church was hungry and desired to know their Redeemer more than they desired comfort or pleasure. The enticements of their culture had no power over the majority of them because of their passion for the Lord. The cost of forsaking all was nothing compared to the reward of knowing HIM.

A truly changed heart will produce a Godly lifestyle. Outward mannerisms are useless if they don't reveal what has happened within the heart of a person. We need to arouse a zeal for the presence of God in our lives. We have a responsibility to separate from the world. Let us not allow the desire for the good life to be stronger in us than passion for God. We must remember the promise of His presence awaiting those who separate themselves and draw near.

Counterculter or Subculture Part I

2009-04-12T15:40:00.000-07:00

In their hearts, the children of Israel had not separated themselves from Egypt; they had not forsaken their desire for it's ways. But when "God" was offered in a package similar to the mannerisms and patterns of Egypt, it was wonderful, they thought, because they could have God and their true desire - Egypt. They could remain conformed to Egypt and have God too!

Numerous patterns and mannerisms of lifestyles are shaped by the spirit of the world. If we choose not to forsake them for the reward of drawing near God's presence, we will constantly gravitate back toward the influences of the spirit that runs the world. But God commands, "Do not act like the people in Egypt, where you USED TO LIVE......you must not imitate their way of life. Leviticus 18:3

We are not to imitate the world's patterns or mannerisms or to act like the people of this world. Paul reinforces this point: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind". (Romans 12:2)

The kingdom of God and the course of this world are running in two opposite directions. There is no harmony between the two, as Jesus indicates, "When the world hates you, remember it hated me before it hated you. The world would love you if you belonged to it, but you don't. I chose you to come out of the world, and so it hates you" (John 15:18-19)

Jesus chose us to come out of the world's pattern of living, and He explains, that's why it hates us. But does it really hate us? It is almost as if the church has spent the past few decades trying to prove Jesus' words to be inaccurate. We have tried our best to fit in. We have consciously believed we could have the world's approval and Jesus' approval too. But Jesus said the world will love us only if we belong to it. So why have we strived to belong where we shouldn't fit in?

The most outstanding characteristic between the early church and the church today was their separated lifestyle. No one could find the mannerisms, methods and ways of the world in them. They were completely different from their surrounding society because they lived under a totally different set of principles and values. The Word of God truly shaped their lives.

The reports of these early believers were that they dwelt in their communities as sojourners and that even though the lived IN the flesh, they did not live AFTER the flesh. They had little interest in respectable pleasures, public sporting events and amusements. They were persecuted, dishonored and hated. And those who hated them were unable to give any reason for their hatred.

Presently, those who hate us don't have to search too hard to give valid reasons for their dislike. This report of the early church could only apply to a small segment of today's church. We have numerous scandals at all levels of ministry. These tragic incidents have occurred because of our self-seeking desires. Not only leaders but many in the church live materialistic lives in the pursuit of pleasure and treasures of this world. We think nothing of lining up for the same movies, entertainment and amusements that the world pursues.

The early Christians believed that this world and the next were enemiesand that you cannot be the friends of both. James bluntly states, "You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with this world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, that if your aim is to enjoy this world, you cannot be friend of God". (James 4:4)

Why does he call believers adulterers who seek to enjoy the world? An adulterer has a covenant with one but seeks a relationship with another. We as believers have covenant with God, so why should we desire to pursue the patterns, mannerisms, and ways of the world? Could it be that we are no different from Israel of old, who would not give up the desires of Egypt for the privilege of coming to God?

(to be continued)

A Different Focus

2009-03-31T19:44:00.000-07:00

The previous post ended by saying that the Israelites focus was their own lives, not God's heart. Moses was quite different. After becoming GREAT in Egypt, he CHOSE to suffer affliction with the people of God rather than enjoy the benefits of Egypt. The children of Israel did not have to CHOOSE their hardships, but Moses had been presented with the finest of everything the world could offer and he refused it all. (Hebrews 11:26) Having quickly forgotten it's oppression, the people of Israel wanted to return to Egypt (the world). They remembered only that they had feasted on the things they lacked in the wilderness of God's testing. Moses, on the other hand, chose hardship "because he was looking ahead to his reward."

What was that reward? The answer is found in Exodus 33:1-2. The offer of the promise they had awaited was before them. After four hundred years in a foreign land, the offer of a bountiful land was being laid before the leader. But there was a catch. v. 33 - God told Moses to take the people to the land He had promised them, that he would give them the escort of an angel, although He would not accompany them. Moses quickly responded, "If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here." (Ex. 33:15) Moses did not hesitate or bargain in his answer. He would without a second thought remain the arid desert, the place that brought much discomfort with God's presence, rather than go to the land of vineyards, streams and beautiful houses without God's presence.

It's a good thing that the option of entering the promised land without God was not placed before the Israelites. They continually complained in difficult times with threats to return to Egypt, and if they would have taken Egypt without God, they would have gladly taken their own good land with an angel. Their reward was whatever benefited them the most. (This is what the world lives for too - "What is best for me?")

To Moses, the promise was nothing without God's presence. He refused God's offer because even though it would have resulted in a much more comfortable life, it was void of what his heart beat for. He desired above all else to know God. He did not ask for land, wealth, honor, or any other tangible asset. He had it all in Egypt and realized that it did not bring true satisfaction. Immediately after he refused the offer of the promised land void of God's presence, his heart cry was, "please, show me Your glory." (Ex. 33:18)

Moses made a firm decision. He pursued the reward of knowing God. Shunning the world was no price at all in comparison with the reward of God's glory. Because he decided to forsake the rewards of the world's system, he was able to draw near to the God on the mountain. The people, however, couldn't draw near to the God of holiness. Egypt's desires were still in them. They had not separated themselves in their hearts from the world, which resulted in their inability to separate what was of the world and what was of God.

If you desire both the world and the intimate knowledge of God, the image of God becomes distorted. You do not truly know Him; you know a different Jesus. The children of Israel wanted God's deliverance, but desired what Egypt had as well. That was why they never would "give up the prostitution they began in Egypt." They were conformed to the world, Egypt's desires were shaped within them, and even though God's strong power delivered them out of Egypt, they did not make the decision to get Egypt out of them.

The Desire of the World

2009-03-24T18:20:00.000-07:00

The following post is the second in a series taken from the book "A Heart Ablaze" by John Bevere.

Of all those who were delivered from Egypt, Moses was the one who was most entangled in its ways. He was raised in Pharaoh's house, he was schooled in Egyptian wisdom, and all of his friends were Egyptian. The other Hebrew men and women were at least in their own community within Egypt. They were treated harshly by that society, yet Moses was treated well by its treasures and wisdom. They had not been as involved with its whole system to the degree that Moses had been. So if anyone could have said that it was harder to get free from the desires of Egypt, it should have been Moses. Yet he had no desire for any form of Egypt, while the children of Israel continually gravitated for it.

Why did the people of Israel, who were less intertwined with Egypt's ways than Moses was, gravitate back to it, while Moses displayed no desire to have anything to do with its ways? Why was the one who was more entangled with the world less interested in its ways?

If we examine the two, we will find the difference. We will also have a very clear picture of two distinctive groups of people that make up the church today, with Moses representing one group and the children of Israel the other. We will see why many today in the church conform to the world while others in the church, even though some have come out of great entanglements of bondage, have no desire to return the world.

For centuries the children of Israel had prayed and cried for deliverance from their Egyptian oppressors. They longed to return to the land of promise. They had been slaves all of their lives. Their fathers, grandfathers, and great grandfathers had been slaves. God sent their deliverer, Moses. The people experienced overwhelming joy. They saw the signs Moses performed. I can just hear them crying, shouting and exclaiming, "It has finally happened. God has come to set us free!" Can you imagine the feelings in that meeting? They had been slaves all of their lives. The promise of deliverance had been talked about for four hundred years. The people experienced overwhelming joy.

Moses left that meeting and went to Pharaoh and proclaimed the same message from the Lord. He commanded Pharaoh to "let His people go". But Pharaoh responded by increasing their hardship. No longer would straw be provided for the endless number of bricks that the Israelites were to produce each day. They would have to glean by night and labor by day. The total number of bricks would not diminish, although their straw was removed. God's word of freedom had increased their hardship and suffering.

The children of Israel's attitude starting changing. They complained and told Moses to "leave them alone and to quit preaching to Pharaoh; you are making life worse for us. " They were the same ones who had worshipped God just days earlier when Moses first brought the news.

When God finally delivered them from Egypt, Pharaoh's heart was hardened again and he pursued the Israelites into the wilderness with his finest chariots and warriors. Seeing that Egypt had rallied against them and that they were backed up to the Red Sea, the Hebrews again complained: "Didn't we tell you to leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than die in the wilderness" (Ex. 14 :12)

"It would have been better for us." In essence they were saying, "why should we do what you say God speaks when it is only making our lives more miserable? We are worse off - not better." They were quick to compare their former lifestyle with their present condition. Whenever the two did not balance, the Israelites wanted to go back. They desired whatever appealed to their best interests over the desire to fulfill God's will. Oh, how they lacked true desire for God in their love for their own lives!

God split the sea, and the children of Israel crossed on dry land and saw their oppressors drowned. They celebrated with dancing and praising before Him. They were firm believers and nothing would draw them back. They were certain they would never again doubt His goodness. But they did not know their own hearts - their intentions, yes, but their desires, no. Another test would arise and again expose their unfaithfulness. Just three days later they complained that they wanted not bitter water, but sweet. (Ex. 15:22-25) Their thoughts were already turning to what they had in Egypt that they lacked in God's desert.

A few more days passed and they complained about the lack of food. They same behavior continued. They complained whenever they encountered situations that weren't to their liking. As long as it seemed good for them, they kept God's Word and appeared to desire Him. But if obedience meant to go a direction that wasn't pleasing to their flesh, they complained. "Would it not be better for us?" - these words paint a clear picture of their hearts. "For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." (Matt 12:34) Their core motivation for living was made evident by their behavior and words spoken under pressure - it was for themselves. Their focus was their own lives, not God's heart.

(....to be continued)

A Heart Ablaze

2009-03-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a book right now by John Bevere called "A Heart Ablaze" and was struck and convicted by so many things in it. It is so rich and for the next few posts I just want to share from it. I cannot take credit for any of the following:

One of two things is going to happen in the life of a believer: either he is going to be conformed into the image of Jesus by allowing the Word of God to change him, or he is going to conform Jesus into the image of what his heart dictates. As in Exodus with the story of the Israelites, if you go to the mountain, you change. If you stay at the foot of the mountain, as Aaron did, God's image in you changes. You make Him what you want Him to be other than Who He truly is.

INTENTIONS OR DESIRES

Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind". Strong's dictionary defines the word conform as "to fashion alike, to shape one thing like another".

Desires and intentions are two different things, although many believe they are one and the same. You can have very good or godly intentions, but they may not be your true desires. Many people say that they desire to walk away from the influences of the world and press into God, yet they don't follow through. They are out of touch with their true desires, for James declares that "each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed" (James 1:13)

A comedian once said, "the devil made me do it". The devil can't make a believer do anything. He can only entice; however, you can't be enticed by something you don't desire. If a line of cocaine or a few hits of LSD were offered to most believers, they would without hesitation refuse them, because they have no desire for them; therefore, they cannot be enticed by them.

We must bring our desires under the submission of the Cross: "Those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:24). It is not something God does for us; it is something we must do. We can't do it without His grace, yet we must do it. We can be enticed by any wrong desires that we have not put under the Cross. If we have not put away our desire for the world's ways, then we can easily slip back to the world.

Our Approach To Worship

2009-02-19T12:59:00.001-08:00

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise"; "praise God in His sanctuary" (Psalms 100:4; 150:1)

As I read these verses, I was reminded that worship is not so much about God coming into our presence as it is about our going into His presence. Furthermore, it is not that God descends to meet with us when we praise, but rather that we ascend unto Him.

If we are having a "bad" worship service, our first thought is that we need the presence of God. The fact is that God is already with us - what we need is to do something, for us to ascend unto the Lord in our hearts. Isaiah 2:3 "Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord...." The problem is never with God for He is always ready; the problem is with us, every time.

It is true that God inhabits our praise, that He dwells and abides in our praise. He is made King when we praise Him for we are declaring His Kingship and Lordship to a world that does not recognize Him as Lord. Our praises testify to the saved and the unsaved.

The worship leader cannot produce God's presence. His/her job is to lead God's people UP to Mount Zion. The weight of the responsibility for a worship service is often seen to fall on the shoulders of those on the platform, and the individual in the congregation is relatively free from feeling any responsibility for the service. Not so - we are all ministers before and unto the Lord. It is my responsibility, your responsibility and the responsibility of each person to offer up an individual "sacrifice of praise" to the Lord.

Rather than see how much we can receive on a Sunday morning, let us endeavor to give unto God, to minister to Him, to bless His name. God is not trying to grow lazy leeches who know how to sponge off the pastor and the congregation. God loves givers - people who come intent upon contributing.

Wherever you attend church, go this week and express your love to the Lord in a fuller measure - yes, even with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.

Peacemakers

2009-02-17T20:23:00.000-08:00

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God.

Jesus didn't say, "Blessed are the peace keepers". He said, "Blessed are the peacemakers." A peace keeper will compromise truth in order to have a false sense of peace. They won't speak up when they should. A peacemaker will confront if need be to have true peace. -Selah!

You Are the Apple of His Eye

2009-01-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

For those of you that struggle with God's love and acceptance, read on:

God is intimate and involved, kind and compassionate, accepting and filled with joy over you. He is warm and affectionate - always eager to be with you. He is patient and slow to anger, loving, gentle and protective. God is trustworthy and wants to give you a full life. His will is good, perfect and acceptable for you. He is full of grace and mercy and He gives you freedom to fail. He is tenderhearted and forgiving. His arms are always open wide to you. He is committed to your growth and proud of you as His beloved child.

God is NOT distant and disinterested, insensitive and uncaring. He is NOT stern and demanding, passive or cold. He is NOT too busy for you. He is not impatient, angry, mean, cruel or abusive. He does NOT reject you and is NOT trying to take all of the fun out of your life. God is NOT controlling or manipulative, condemning or unforgiving. He is NOT a nit-picking, demanding perfectionist.

He is God, your Father and you are the apple of His eye!!!

Out With the Old....In With the New

2008-12-31T22:29:00.000-08:00

My.... how that title fits the changing of this year. Typically, my blogs are more "spiritual" but today I am just going to blog about the "stuff" in my life. On December 20, 2008, I lost my precious Sadie Girl. It was one day after her 6th birthday. It just went by so fast. I am simply devasted. She was my love, my comfort and my joy. I looked forward to any time I had off just to be at home with Sadie and Jake. For those of you who aren't dog lovers, I don't expect you to understand. I guess because I don't have kids, I have filled my need to nurture with my fur kids. We now have two new puppies named Daisie and Duke. So, the passing of 2008 is symbolic of her passing and the new lives we will now pour into.

The year 2009 will bring my 40th birthday which, to me, symbolizes the passing of my youth. That is probably a twisted thought but it is a little sobering to think I could have very well spent half of the years I've been given to live. Have I been a good steward? I don't feel like I've done enough or attained the spiritual level of maturity I think I should be at by now. My...how the years have "raced" by. Seriously, I have NO IDEA where the last 10 years went. It is a weird feeling to feel the same inside yet look in the mirror and see how the outside has changed. I hope that spiritually that is not the case. The Word says that while our outward bodies are perishing, our spirits are being renewed day by day. I hope my spirit man is being renewed and changed. I was thinking today that if I gave the Lord half of the attention I give my dogs......! I feel that I still struggle with junk that I struggled with 20 years ago. UGH! Nothing is ever good enough...I never measure up. Same old story. The story of my life. A spirit of condemnation. Lord, loose me from these chains that keep me from joy and freedom.

I really want to learn to enjoy my life as well as all of this newness I will be experiencing. I want to see these things as a blessing not a burden. I've read all this stuff on the internet about how shouln't raise two puppies at the same time. Why didn't I do my homework? Actually, I didn't want two. My husband did. So now I'm scared to death it's going to be a chaotic nightmare. I'm not very good with change. Actually, I hate it. I am completely a creature of habit - very boring, too serious, too analytical and very predictable. I'm thinking "what was I thinking - getting two puppies?" I was already on the edge of insanity. This is sure to send me over. Training one dog much less two is A LOT of work and takes A LOT of time. I surely didn't have much of that to spare to begin with....but dogs are so much comfort. Is that selfish? Will this cost me more time that I should be spending with God? I always think/feel that God is not pleased with me. I guess I put so much pressure on myself that I can neveer just enjoy the moment(s) I'm in and then I blink my eyes and those precious moments have gone.

"This day is fragile, soon it will end
And once it has vanished it will not come again
Let us share love, let us share God
Before this day is gone

This day we're given is golden
Let us show love
This day is ours for one moment
Let us sow love

This day is fleeting, it will pass by
And before it's too late to recapture the time
Let us share love, let us share God
Before this day is gone"

Mary or Martha?

2008-12-07T16:21:00.000-08:00

Luke 10:41-42 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her".

In this story, Mary had the attitude, "I can eat later; right now Jesus is talking and I want to hear Him". More often that not, I find myself saying, "I can spend time with Jesus later; right now I have so much to do". How many times have I neglected fellowship with the lover of my soul when I hear Him whispering, "leave that behind and come away with me"?

Once again, I have busied myself with the temporary to the neglect of the eternal. I want to blame my attitudes and frustrations on everyone else around me even though it is really due to a lack of my own refreshing - not renewing my mind like I know I should. I have replaced my time of fellowship with Him with the works of my hands and therefore I have spent all of my strength. I often reason that I just don't have time but the truth is we all have time for what we MAKE time for.

I realized after a lot of reflection this weekend how very SELF-CENTERED my thought patterns have become, how sorry I feel for myself, how negative and critical I've been. I can say that I trust in the Lord when all of my circumstances are within my control, when all of my loved ones are acting like I think they should act, when my body is healthy and my job is secure, etc. I also realized how much work it is to maintain the appearance of anything....your body, your house, success, being "spiritual". We can be so busy keeping up the outward appearance that the inward part of us is a mess. Keeping up appearances drains us of the energy we need to change. Our culture rewards achievement and appearance, but God rewards faithfulness and substance.

If allowed, the demands and pressures around you will always usurp your priorities and disorder your day. Why do I continue to allow that? Why do you?

Your Past Is Not Your Future

2008-11-21T18:43:00.000-08:00

"You can spend your whole life figuring out why you are messed up and still be messed up once you've figured it out."

I jokingly say from time to time, "why can't everyone be normal like me?" But in truth, aren't we all messed up? When we look back and try to make sense of all that has happened in the past, we are bound to be frustrated. Constantly replaying, reviewing and rewinding is like trying to walk forward while looking backward. Our past, no matter how tragic or terrible is GONE! We can never reach back and change it. Even the good parts of our past are gone. Trying to live there drains our lives of the present. It only wastes time and energy. We can spend our lives trying to figure out why we're messed up, who's fault it is and still be messed up once we've figured it out. After all our searching, we figure out the WHY, but knowing why doesn't produce the power to change. We must know the WHO. You don't go to the problem for the answer. Jesus is the answer. We must move from the problem to the answer. Our answer is Jesus. The question is, do we believe what He did was enough?

God doesn't say, "I want you to remember your shame and learn from it." He says, "forget about it because I have." God won't remind you of your past so don't let anyone else - forget about it. He is a God of restoration and delights in turning the old into something new.

I have watched my husband restore a couple of corvettes and have been amazed at what the car looked like when he got it and what it looked like when he finished with it (although, ironically, he says he's never really finished). What was old and ugly turned into something new and beautiful. It took months and months and lots of patience to get even the tiniest detail replaced. He often gets comments about how beautiful the car is and sometimes I think "it didn't always look like this". I believe that is the way it is with us. God just keeps working on us one part at a time until all the parts have been restored and replaced and we are the beautiful creation HE originally intended us to be.

Window of Opportunity

2008-11-16T15:19:00.000-08:00

Upon turning the ripe old age of 39 this week, I have been thinking about how small our window of opportunity is to make a difference in this world. Each of us will walk this planet for a certain amount of days. You and I have been given a specific number of breaths and heartbeats to expend and we all have the opportunity to make a difference in our lifetime. Take a moment right now to think about what you will do with the minutes, days, weeks, months and years God has given you. I hope you'll take the time to consider this thought. It just may be one of the most important questions you'll ever ask yourself.

God has given you incredible potential, a purpose and vision designed especially for you and He has equipped you to fulfill it. This is an amazing truth that most christians fail to really grasp.

We live in a phenomenal time in history and the urgency of the times in which we live is evident. The clock is ticking and it is vital for us as Christians to discover and then get on with the vision God has for our lives.

There is no escaping time. Despite the best efforts of our culture to halt time through skincare regimes and plastic surgery, time passes for all of us. We are each entrusted with the opportunity to decide how we'll spend the time we're given. Yes, God has entrusted you and me with time! What will you do with the time you have?

Today, each of us can make choices that impact the fulfillment and fruitfulness of our time here on earth. Some people drink their life away, some allow unforgiveness to eat their life away and others still will spend their life as victims of circumstance. Then there are those who have decided to spend their time living both saved and called....a decision that shapes how they live out everyday. They have committed themselves to the greatest cause of all - the cause of Christ!

Weariness

2008-10-27T17:14:00.000-07:00

....well, that's what I've been lately......weary, worn out, sick and tired, fed up, aggravated and anything else you can think of along those lines. I have felt like I don't have the energy to go on one more day. I question the "call", my motives, my ability and my "want to". Why does everthing have to be so hard - so much work? It would be a whole lot easier to be average, complacent or even down right LAZY. (I did get to enjoy a wonderful, rainy day this past Friday. I curled up on my couch under an electric blanket, read a book and watched a movie ALL DAY!!!)

I guess that reminds me, as the Bible says, that WIDE is the gate that leads to destruction and NARROW is the way to heaven and few there be that find it. My flesh can come up with every excuse to not DENY myself, take up my cross and follow Jesus. We truly are a self indulgent society - there is very little we have to "deny"ourselves of in this culture. I don't want this mentality to affect my spirituality.

I'm thankful for my brothers and sisters in Christ that "spur" me on and remind me that I MUST finish the race....and so I run, with eternity set in my heart.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 I'm pressed but not crushed, persecuted but not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed..........

I am truly blessed. God has been so good, so faithful and so merciful to me - the very least I can do is live my life as an offering to Him.

2008-10-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

Psalm 133 v. 1&3
"How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along! Yes, that's where God commands the blessing and ordains eternal life."

Unity is the most essential element in a successful church. Unity doesn't mean conformity - because we're not all alike. Unity is HARMONY. There is diversity in harmony. Harmony is DIFFERENT notes BLENDED together that make a more beautiful sound than one note could ever make by itself. Harmony is a hard thing to learn. For me, it's easier to sing the lead note or main melody. I have to work a little harder at harmony. Sometimes I hear the harmony without much effort and sometimes I have to work at it or memorize it until I can remember how it's done.

We have to be careful not to impose our opinions at the expense of unity. Our opinions may differ but we can still blend those different "sounds" to create a beautiful harmony that will lead our church toward DESTINY!

I believe that as sure as we have a destiny, we also have an adversary and that before the church can GO anywhere, we have to have people who will STAY somewhere. It is so much easier to run away or retreat than press through hard things. It's easier to bike downhill than uphill but God didn't ask us to take the easy way. He asks us to run the race, resist our adversary and press on toward the prize.

If you feel like you're at the end of you're rope, tie a knot in it and HANG ON~

Fighting To Be Different

2008-09-25T09:58:00.000-07:00

"Fighting to be different to make a difference".....Pastor Craig Crosby

"Breaking tradition to mend the broken".....Pastor Ric Edgar

I love both of these quotes. I believe tradition is ingrained in us from the time we are children and is influenced by culture, race and gender. I believe who we are, what we believe, even the way we worship is mostly learned behavior. Most people never deviate very far (at least for very long) from how they were raised. Whether you are Baptist, Pentecostal, Charismatic, Methodist or AME.....we learn how to worship (or what is acceptable in worship) by watching those around us.

Because of that, I find myself challenged in how we do church. Obviously, whatever the "church" has been doing for the last 50 years has NOT been reaching the masses; therefore, we find ourselves looking for relevant ways to reach the lost - changing the METHOD but not the MESSAGE. My prayer is that as we do that, the name of Jesus is still high and lifted up and that we remember that we are the salt of the earth and the light of the world - that we shine like a city on a hill! I don't want to be the one who says "we've never done it that way before". Lord, help me keep in mind your passion for the lost and be willing to do whatever it takes to reach them.

Amazed

2008-09-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's worship time was INCREDIBLE! I am so amazed at what God is doing as well as the unbelievable people He has placed together on our team for such a time as this. I am so thankful for all of the talented singers and musicians we have and for the new people He is sending us. What an awesome privilege to be entrusted to lead this amazing group of people.

I stand in awe when I think about all of the events that have transpired in my life to bring me to this exact place at this exact time for His perfect purpose in my life.....so much that happened while I thought I was running from God. His Word clearly states that He works ALL THINGS TOGETHER for our good - not that all things are good - but that it all works together for our good. I can see that so clearly. Even in the places I was most miserable, I can see how He has used those experiences to prepare me for where I am.

I think about the precious Pastor that watched me grow in his church from the age of 13, mentored me and invested in me to be the Worship Leader I am today and the precious Pastor I currently serve under - who so believed in the call of God on my life and wouldn't let me say "no".

So much of what I do isn't even about the music (although it is a big part) but about investing in the lives of these people that I do life with. That is the biggest deal to me. Besides the musical gifts He has given me, He has truly given me a heart for people. It is the most rewarding thing to watch lives being transformed right before my very eyes - knowing that it has nothing to do WITH me but about Him working THROUGH me.

May I keep my eyes fixed on the prize and never stop running this amazing race through His amazing grace!

Complaining

2008-09-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

Are you a complainer? Complaining is so easy to see when others do it and hard to see in ourselves. What are your most common complaints? Mine seem to be mostly about the amount of work that needs to be done and not having enough time to do it, how hot it is outside, gas prices and the condition of the dirt road and how sorry our neighbors are who don't do their part to maintain their portion of it.

Philippians 2:14-15 says "Do all things without murmuring or complaining, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation...."

The strongest muscle in the human body is right behind your teeth. What we say comes straight from from the heart, pours through our lips, and sometimes damages relationships.

Being a complainer indicates that the Spirit of God is not in control because everything coming out of your mouth is from the human point of view.

According to Numbers 11:1 our complaining angers God. I believe it is because when we complain we are doubting God's character and that He is at work. By choosing to complain, we cling to the idol of a perfect life and therefore forfeit the grace and strength we need to get through whatever we are facing.

"Lord, help me to recognize complaining when I hear it. Soften my heart to what complaining means to You and to others. Protect me from being poisoned by others' words and by my own attitude. Change my attitude toward complaining. Help me to do it less and tolerate it less. Forgive me for forgetting your faithfulness to me. Stir faith in me to trust you in both good and bad.